A Question far more important than what it is you do…
What do you Believe?
Not in mere religious context, or solely based on what does one believe IN - but more so who do you truly believe you are, what is your purpose, what do you believe to be true, what is false? The question alone arises many more, is never-ending and yet really never begins - having no start, as it is not one in which is commonly asked.
Today, my sister asked me - amidst talk of my religious beliefs - “So what DO you believe?” I answered without really thinking - not too sure why, as I am one to sit back in silence until I have constructed the perfect response - But it got me really fond on the fact that this is an unspoken truth within oneself. We all know deep down what we personally believe. What we fake, what we agree to, what we don’t understand and even more so what it is that we grow or long to comprehend.
So here it is, the question that has been on my mind through-out the day, as well as while reading, “The Soul Traveler” - What DO you believe?
How can I further break it down… Religion, Being, life, mind, body, soul, entity, government, laws, the world, the universe, money, time, death, purpose, truths, faults, color, etc. etc. Within each of these one must hold beliefs, a stance in which right or wrong is formed and you can never claim to be undecided. For me, I believe in not believing what you are taught to believe. In my mind, I feel I somehow surpassed certain beliefs - Feel strongly that they ARE - I KNOW them to be TRUE. And then it comes to question, Where or WHEN is that fine line between Knowing and Believing passed? When it is a matter of non-textual, no proof & non-factual situations and matters, how can one ever cross over…if the higher powers, the media, the books, the Man, the government has never allowed us that option?
I BELIEVE that that is what has happened; it’s as though imagination - the creation of our own thoughts, the ability to think for ourselves and build our own thesis within our minds - has been removed from our language, dissipated from our knowledge as we’ve forgotten that within each of us - lies a unique being - we are beautiful.
I BELIEVE in the soul; that in fact we are creatures placed at first to grow, create, share & master the universe. Yet somewhere down the line we lost focus; Something or someone feared our power, stood their ground - Blinded us with their gadgets, technology - obscured our vision and had us swerve, steered into the opposite direction - One in which only a small number of us were left to create, invent and expand our minds - while the rest of the world just sits back, without thought, brainless - powerless & lost in the world with such toys.
I BELIEVE at the moment that Love exists; that it is another form of power. A power that is found at the root of one’s soul and at the head of each being - The mind, it is a beautiful thing that is not to be wasted and to a waste you should pay no mind. What most do not realize is that Love is not solely of the heart, but of one’s mind and it’s ability to understand - that of belief and knowing - that not all of us are the same but we were created equal - that one’s past does not define them as an individual nor does it foreshadow their future.
I BELIEVE that we all hold firm to such beliefs; beliefs and knowledge of one’s self. The right to think our own thoughts, hold our own ground, dictate our own monumental speeches, and shine our unique light upon our own individual futures - because that light is as bright as you allow your mind to be.
Choose your destiny, and then live by it. The beauty of it all is that changing your mind does not mean having a change of heart every time - it just means you’ve found another way around the ultimate goal - Happiness. Everything one does is done with purpose and intention - once clarity is found within your reasoning, what you find - deep inside - is YOURSELF.
I BELIEVE, because I know this of Myself - myself as I have observed others, and others as they have judged me. Life is not panned out in front of us - nor is there a guide. We do with it as we please - what we choose is upon us to decide - some, as mentioned before, chose said Life - and hopefully more and more will slowly begin to emerge themselves in thought - begin to think themselves out of their current problems & situations - create new worlds beyond previous thought of possibility.
In a universe, where we are handed all the pieces to the puzzle and we struggle & become aggravated as we try to put it all together - sometimes all one must really do is relax, calm down, sit back & THINK - because in all reality, we have all we need right at our fingertips and what we need to do is keep trying, turning the pieces until they fit and it all comes together. Never give up nor grow frustrated - because quitting and regressing are the furthest points from progress - Remember that even if one step is taken forward, if two are taken back you are still not moving forward.
Believe in the belief of oneself - in the belief that you, yourself, can get you to where you need to be - with a thought alone man becomes an artist - Let your universe become your masterpiece…
I feel like a fucking walking cliche and want to repeatedly scream, “THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY!” My birthday is 10 days away, I will be 23 then and with the last few days remaining of one of my most up & down years to date - I can only hope I get all I need to get done out of the way before then. I want a fresh start, a clean slate - a new beginning - most people wait for New Year’s for Resolutions, but I have always figured MY NEW YEAR comes as a new year of life, from date of birth, begins (for me personally) as a resolution should be for oneself and not for the world, society nor what others claim to be correct & needed.
I haven’t rested much these past few days - or really much at all this past month or so but I do hope - scratch that - I WILL BE changing that as I eliminate things from the list to do prior to saying goodbye to twenty-two.
My eyes have seen much, my feet have walked plenty, my mind has gained, my soul has found… my life changed - all thanks to the trials of this past year, even more so due to the experiences relevantly pertaining to rock bottom. It’s as though I’ve lived and died time & time again, started anew only to demolish such life and rebuild it all, try, fail - die and be reborn to make way for new beginnings - shed old skin as a snake and break free as a caterpillar whose struggle’s gift is to become nothing less than a beautiful butterfly. As those whom previously surrounded me failed to hold, I’ve learned and gained so much and can only be grateful - experience truly is the greatest teacher. I’ve lived many years to this date - many more within this single one than in all my life combined.
"And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s in the life in your years." - Abe Lincoln